Broken by Life

Broken

When you see that word, what do you think of? What do you feel?

Broken. Like when when a baseball hits the window and it shatters instantly.
Broken. Like when you drop a glass on the floor and it leaves a crack, but over time, that crack takes over the entire cup before it’s eventually unusable.
Broken. Like when you were a kid and you got a new toy, but you abused the directions to the point that it just stops working the way it was intended to be used.

I never like to think of us, as people, as objects, but I think it’s an easy comparison.

Some people have such strong personalities. They can take criticism and speculation of others, and it’s like it just rolls right off of their skin. It’s as if it doesn’t phase them and they are able to continue their days as if the comments didn’t exist. But time deteriorates everything.

There’s some people whose skin isn’t so tough. It’s as if the outer layer to their heart and mind is made of tissue paper, at times. Any critical comment seems to be able to break through that sheer barrier and those words can bounce around in their head for any length of time.

These are two very different kind of people, and I think we all can filter ourselves somewhere between these variations. But no matter where in line you stand, not one of us is invincible. We all have breaking points.

We all have soft spots. You know, things that when you get on the topic of them, you get an excess wave of emotions, whether it be passionate, excitement, or sadness.

We’re all getting broken. We’re all being worn down just by living. And I think the fear of breaking is what holds people back from really experiencing things. I know that’s what it’s doing to me.

Not one of us can live this life without getting broken by something. But you know what? Broken pieces can be fixed. Windows can be repaired. Glasses can be cleaned up. And toys can be taken apart and put back together again. No, it’s not going to be brand new. No, it’s not going to be as perfect as it was to start with. But it’s as good as it can get.

That’s how we have to start living. Don’t be afraid of breaking, be afraid of not living enough. In the end, hopefully we’ll all be 80 and wrinkly together and you’ll be able to see that everyone has some battle wounds. That’s the result of life.

So don’t look at that hole in your shield as a sign of you losing, look at it as a sign of living.

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You Rule You

Depression is a weird thing. I think it’s mainly because it’s so misunderstood. 

You either suffer from it, you are kind to it, or you’re completely blind to it.

There are the people that know the pain of it. They know what it’s like to not want to get up each day. They know what it’s like to keep moving through each day, hour, minute, second, but just feel like you’re just there. You’re not really anything of substance. Of course, there are many difference faces of depression and different things that can cause it and different sub emotions that make each case individual. And that’s what makes everyone feel like they’re stranded on a planet, millions of miles away from other souls, without anyone to rely on.

There are the people who don’t suffer, who arrogantly deteriorate the minds of the people who suffer. Just because they don’t know what it feels like to feel trapped within yourself, they just assume that the feeling doesn’t exist. To someone who suffers in this way, it’s not only degrading, but also infuriating. There is nothing worse than seeing someone make fun of something that you didn’t chose to deal with. There’s nothing more upsetting to see someone not only see the pain in your eyes, but act like it’s not even real.

There’s a truth to it. Everyone that suffers from depression can sympathize for other sufferers. If you suffer, even if it’s something other than depression, you shouldn’t be trying to destroy them more than they’re already destroying themselves. Actually, even if you don’t know if someone is suffering at all, you shouldn’t try to break them just because you don’t know where their cracks are. 

I truly believe that if a sufferer of depression, or any mental illness, is confronted with someone just like themselves, they shouldn’t encourage the behavior of tearing themselves into pieces. Everyone wants recovery, but it’s such a long journey that no one really wants to risk the little bit of the sanity they have left to try to get there. There are tons of people suffering, and now that social media has become such a prominent thing in so many lives, there is a way that people can connect anonymously with people just like themselves. It breaks my heart to not only see people openly talk about the feelings that are overwhelming their thoughts, but I’ve also been able to watch people encourage others to give up on getting better, to skip their therapist appointments, to make it seem like their lives are stuck under this dark cloud for however long they will live.

That makes my heart cry a little bit. In this time, when social media is able to change lives, we need to use that power to our advantage, Instead of assisting each other in making the disease take over more, you can work together and fight it. Because no matter what your mind is telling you, you are always stronger than your disease. The job of that disease is to convince you that it’s the other way around. The truth to life is that there isn’t anything thrown at you that you can’t fight and conquer. You can’t let anything make you believe differently and you can’t let anything make you feel like you aren’t in control of you.